Summer, 2003...

2 steps from the edge
Try to fight the anger
Have let it build so long now,
To myself, I am a stranger

Compelled to violence;
must resist
Compelled to find
All reasons for this mess

Psychological battle
Fully engaged by the means of a Bottle
Who can 'get' who
'One up' the other (is the matter)
A struggle of minds
locked inside, incubating a seed of madness
the red I see drives me Blind

No reaction is acceptable
Words tossed and thrown
like a wasted rag doll
'Maintain the calmness
And breathe in deep'
aren't good suggestions to one who's on the leap
on the verge
on the edge
of personal empires burning

Torment
and laughter
all I ever hear
Ears bleed from pre-formed lines
While I struggle to keep
my sanity near
Holding it closely
Never letting go
Can't slip up on this matter
Or the system is going
to
blow

Inner struggle
Demons screaming
a little girl inside remains forbidden
Never to know
Not to feel
The actual meaning of
Something real.