For some, pain comes from a stranger place, yet can be noticed and read off a strangers face. It's easy to wash the guilt away I say, as I sway. I was told, "your life is shaped by the pain you feel", but they neglected how your life can be ruined by the way you heal. My soul is tarnished and stained with hurt, but you can't see the damage through my new t-shirt. It could be safe to say I'm not safe this way, day by day I decay. When I'm cut I laugh, when I bleed I smile.. it's no issue, the wounds are superficial, I need no tissue. I've never been one to pull punches, but the things I've done fuck with my conscience, even when I'm unconscious.. coincidence? Punches in bunches is what my father said.......R.I.P.

Happy Fathers Day

As a father without a daughter and a son without a father, let me say..... Happy Fathers Day.

Untitled

I used to wonder..... Is it helping or masking, curing or corrupting, fixing or tricking, changing or deranging... but am I owning or blaming, tripping or switching, faking or chasing positions so vacant. Decisions, so on a mission to erase em, escaping n tailing cases so contagious, no wrist braces and/or bracelets, they won't face me, then I'll face em' faceless. -Till the day my cold hands don't shake and my eyelids won't break.... know I'm not to far to check.. in. LIV

HATE

I am Jesus, the devil and your last breath. The pressure constricting around neck at the time of expiration. I will not lose. I am in the dark around every corner, maybe the first and last thing you'll see in the morning. I am in your closet when you get home, or attached to the battery of your car waiting for your entry. The weight tied to your ankle pulling you south as you see the surface of the water slowly get further. I apply the pressure to the lever which ignites the black powder giving birth to a chunk of metal and delivering to it's new home. The reason blood stops pumping, pumps faster, or pumps out. The last word, the final blink, the equal weight on the scale of justice. Glass in your food, air in your vein, sianide in your kool aid. The kerosene, match, and pad lock on the outside of your door. I am who you wanted to see last.... I'm here.

Don't Look Back

We can't change the past. We can enjoy the good times.
We can't predict the future.
We CAN make the present better.
So........live today like its your last. Live it to the fullest. Be happy.
Enjoy what you have today because tomorrow it may be gone........

Hey

I love you

This was a comment by Jellybean I needed to post

Tragedy suffered without lessons learned is the worst tragedy of all. We share our tragedies and journeys back in the hopes that something we say might resonate with you and make your journey a bit less lonely and a bit more hopeful. I wish for all who have suffered that you will learn to embrace the person you are becoming because of your pain and wear it as something to rejoice in and not fear.

I earned what I have between the legs of a table, exacted my contacts without a tax bracket. I've aggressively progressed exempt of attention, learning some lessons from Smith & Wesson. I am well known for being unknown, yet overwhelmed with being alone. I'm product of people with product producing regression afforded in a recession............. I am just fine... stabbed, shot, deaf, blind, Because what I live for is of a different kind. My battery is powered by family who cares, and the shame I would have if I couldn't be there. My soul is owned by those who shaped me, so to break it......... you need their key. My smile is tattooed and my frown is penciled, let's make my chaser the eraser!

OH.........

So ur angry cause I'm better.....you wish that I was ill... Never will you hold the cards again to make me deal........... U hav'nt earnded it......... u don't deserve it..... though you have my heart in question, we all must learn a lesson.

1ST Chapter

I lost my father to a misunderstanding... but I understand how circumstance can over stand the stance that you stood. So I planted my feet... knowing that the shoulders I bear are built to withstand the weight. I've been scared too long in my life, but the shadow of my brother spreads long and wide, plus people in his shadow have been known to hide. The small things u pick up on is what makes something big. I've done things I regret and can't forget. But my family in collect........ understands circumstance makes a man.

Just is as Justice Does

question me not, I can't speak, I already asked 4 a lawyer, like last week. good cop bad cop, it's only pork to me, so call me Muslim, I only do beef. sign what, I thought you know what happened first, oh, and i know your wife's name, and where she works. no thanks, I already made my one call, next to an ocean, can't help but feel small. wonder why I know your name, I used to wonder the same. but what you're paid for, I guess I've done, investigation 101. i know your rough/tough and I'm in cuffs, but your son should be home in about.... what? do you still live across from the pool? that's a really long walk from school. i'm just looking out for your safety, I don't wanna do wrong, hope no one makes me. a threat no, what makes you think that, you wanted a statement, I think I gave you that. is that your phone ringing, you may want to open, it could be a kidnapping, or a body in the ocean. no problem, I'll wait, I guess we both have a second to find out our fate. oh that was quick, did somebody escape? naw, no problem, must be a big mistake. and thank you for the talking, next time.... look at the shoes I fill before you site me for jay-walking. -4

To those who come....

My beautiful lady, Mom, E-Z, Jud, SutDog.....and all I left out, we all have enough pain to fill.......... answer....

I am still alive

Fuk it...I'll try